Garden Buddy

This little lady is a Venusta Garden Spider, and we've been co-existing out in the garden for a couple of weeks now. I first spotted her orb web after a drizzle, when it was holding water droplets like strings of pearls along its entire structure. Very pretty. I finally spotted her hunkered down under cover, waiting for the rain to end.

When I go out to the garden, I usually glance over to make sure everything is ok with her. She's usually sitting under the center of her web (the business part of the web is about 8" across, but the structure itself is about twice that), waiting for dinner.

After our big big rain the other day, I went out back and spent a quiet little while watching her rebuild her tattered home.

The truce holds as long as she doesn't startle me.

Critters

Time for another Rocket Jones folder dump of pictures that made me... uh, whatever they made me do enough to save 'em. Today's theme is "Animals". Enjoy.

*snerk*


They don't poop Skittles either.


For the love of God...


He'll be found, about 10 minutes after you fall asleep.


What? It's a bear. A Gummi Bear skin rug.


Yeah, like he needed *another* reason.


Not available from Adam & Eve.


Awwwww.


This made me smile.

I Want To Be One When I Grow Up

"Indiana Jones is old school, we've moved on from Indy, sorry Harrison Ford."

-Dr. Sarah Parcak, Space Archaeologist - in BBC article

From the comments:

...does this woman not have the GREATEST job title ever?!

Yep.

Bounty

This photo shows the first of my garden harvest for 2011. A single sugar snap pea. It looks a little silly sitting there all by itself, but I decided to take photos of all the veggies I grow this year on this small platter, for future reference and comparison purposes.

Thinking back, I believe this is the first edible thing I've ever grown from a seed.

It was delicious.

Dirt Watch - Holiday Edition

Around here, Mother's Day is when you can start putting in plants that can't handle frost: tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers and such. I'd bought some of each early this week, and have been slowly getting them into the ground as time allowed.

Today I finished up by planting bush bean seeds (a little late, but they should be ok). I'm not a green bean fan, but my family is, so eight of the little guys went in.

Also in the ground is more Swiss Chard. The original ones didn't fare well, and I think only one is still alive. I replanted there and added a couple more squares worth.

I have two tomato plants in big pots. One's a beefsteak variety and another of cherry tomatoes. In the boxes there are two Roma tomato plants. These beasties will climb the net trellis and are supposedly great to make tomato sauce. I've had good luck with tomatoes in the past, so I'm optimistic.

Also in the ground this week are cucumbers, a couple of green pepper plants, a square of parsley, and another of basil.

From the original seed stock I started with, the carrots seem to be doing great, as are the radishes. The lettuce and spinich is finally taking off, and the peas (snow and sugar snap) are climbing the net and already pushing out a couple of little pods. I'm pretty much writing off the onions this year.

I think I've made some basic mistakes during this initial year of Square-Foot Gardening. First off, I don't think I watered enough early on. I'm thinking about adding a drip irrigation setup next Spring. Second, I really need more sun in the backyard. I took out some overarching branches from the neighbor's tree, which helped, but I've got one massive branch about 45' up on a maple in my yard that needs to go (I want to get rid of the whole tree - maybe next year). I can do it from the ground with my rope saw if I can get the thing up and over the branch. Sounds like a project for this weekend, eh?

Thirdly, I didn't put enough dirt mix into the boxes to begin with. On the plus side, I used 2x10's instead of 2x6's as recommended, so even with the settling of the mix I'm still barely ok. But I need to really overload the boxes next time.

My final problem is that I bought into the hype about not needing fertilizer. I got some slow-release general purpose stuff that I've started adding to the dirt. We'll see how that works out.

Aside from the food crops, I planted a Hibiscus for Liz (because she wanted one, I give it 50-50 about surviving our Winters) and a few boxwood shrubs. Dusty Millers and Impatiens (the ol' go-to) are in the front bed and should be spectacular as they spill out between the pickets of the fence. Mucho hardwood mulch went in today.*

That pretty much wraps up the garden prep for the season. All that's left is to water and enjoy.

* I don't get this new "rubber" mulch. They claim it doesn't rot and will last for years. To me, the idea of mulch is that it does compost and improves the hell out of your soil - year after year after year. Oh well, what do I know?

Chopawamsic Backcountry - 5-20-2011

Work has been pretty stressful for a while now, so I really needed a getaway. On Thursday night I loaded my backpack and gear into the car so that on Friday I could head directly to the Chopawamsic Backcountry Area for a bit of hiking and camping.

Photographic evidence here.

Chopawamsic is one of the best kept secrets in Northern Virginia. Eight campsites on 400 acres of hardwood forest, all connected by a loop trail. You wanna camp, you gotta backpack in. Extra goodness is that there's no fee to use the area, but you do have to get a permit from the ranger station at the nearby Prince William Forest Park (part of the National Park system).

They don't make it easy either. The permit is simple (and free!), and then they give you directions. Basically, you go a few miles down a two lane road and then make a left onto an unmarked gravel road. One half mile down that and on the right is the only sign to the area, in front of a locked gate. The rangers give you a key along with the permit. Go through the gate, go a ways further and you'll come to a gravel parking lot. From here it's all on foot.

I selected campsite #7. Actually, I had the entire place to myself for the night. Along the loop trail - blazed in white - are occasional double yellow blazes along with a numbered post. From there, follow the side trail to the campsite.

At the campsite itself is another post. You have to set up your tent within 20' of the post, this minimizes the impact of many people camping in the area each year. No fires or pets are allowed either.

Camp #7 was set up on a wide ridge, and in the area is an old homestead site. This part of the forest had a fire go through in 1985. Many of the old hardwood trees were damaged and died, so by now, 25 year old oak and sycamore are standing tall, but there is still enough light coming through the canopy to allow a heavy understory of smaller trees, shrubs and bushes. Eventually those will disappear as the old trees completely block the sunlight at ground level.

I'd set up camp, and just as I was finishing dinner it started to rain. It was kind of cool because I listened to it rain for a good 10 minutes before any drops penetrated to where I was camped. When it finally did I retreated into my tent with a good book and occupied my evening with some reading and writing.

It probably only rained an hour or so, but the trees dripped most of the night. Other than the soothing sound of the water I heard a few birdcalls, and the occasional jet passing by on its' way to one of the local airports.

I was up at dawn but lollygagged around before finally packing up and heading up-trail to finish the loop.

On my way back out I came across an old cemetary. The oldest legible headstone was dated 1822, the latest 2008. The cemetary was semi-maintained and there were flowers on a few of the graves. After getting back in my car, I spied a tick on my leg. No free rides for him.

As I drove down the gravel back to civilization I came up to a sun-dappled stretch of road and something magical happened. A dozen or more of the shade spots lifted and fluttered away. What I had taken for shade were actually large dark blue butterflies, sunning themselves. Not 50 yards later, a large deer exploded out of the brush on one side of the road and, with a graceful leap, disappeared into the woods on the other side.

I returned the key to the rangers and will certainly be going back. A couple of the campsites are very close to a small reservoir and supposedly the fishing is pretty good. It felt good to be away from the phone, the computer and television, the cars, the noise and people. It felt very good indeed.

Whoops!

Team America Rocket Contest 2011 - Updated with Pictures!

For the ninth straight year, I was a member of the volunteer range crew for TARC. The weather forecast was ugly, but except for some occasionaly light misting the rain stayed away during the contest itself.

100 teams from all over the country came to fly rockets and try to win a piece of the price pool. The winning team took top honors on the very last flight of the day, bumping the next two teams into a tie for second.

So, this year's challenge was to design and build a rocket that:

1. Flew as close as possible to 750', measured by an on-board altimeter.
2. Flew - from 1st motion to payload touchdown - between 40-45 seconds, under a 15" parachute.
3. Carried aloft and returned unbroken a raw egg.

The first place team will be going to the Paris Air Show, complements of Raytheon, to have a fly-off against the winners of the UK and French versions of the contest. All contests use the same rules each year. The first winning team of the Japanese contest were here this year. They were from Iwate High School, which is in the prefecture that got stomped by the earthquake and tsunami.

The first eight teams split a pool of scholarship money. The top twenty teams all get invites to NASA's Student Launch Initiative, which is like Team America, but with much larger rockets, much higher altitudes, and tougher objectives (not that Team America is easy!)

And the prizes just keep getting better and better. I didn't catch all the details, but one participant got a $5,000/year scholarship towards a four year degree from Raytheon. Yep, $20,000 towards college.

As usual, the kids were great, the rockets were cool and it was a great day. Reuters and Wired magazine were there, along with many local media.

It sounds corny, but there are many ways to love America. One way that I choose is to encourage kids to pursue careers in Science, Technoloy, Engineering and Math. TARC is only one vehicle to the future, and so far it's working beyond all expectations.

Links to pictures! YAY!

Photos from Steve Schowiak:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/schowiak/sets/72157626605411463/

Photos from Glenn Feveyear:

http://db.tt/lyey7lZ

Photos in fast-paced slide show format from Steve Schwartz:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7PAJoDx4F3k&feature=bf_prev&list=ULx-vDXiHk9GE&index=23

A Couple of Witticisms

Veni, Vedi, Velcro - I came, I saw, I stuck around.

Don't believe everything you read on the internet. That's how WWI started!

Cultural Enhancement

KISS Ragtime Band.

One European's Analysis of Current Events

*wink wink* *nudge nudge*

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya and the announcement of the death of Osama bin Laden, and have therefore raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.” Soon though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross.” The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to “A Bloody Nuisance.” The last time the British issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada.

The Scots have raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards.” They don’t have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide.” The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ‘s white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country’s military capability.

Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout Loudly and Excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The Germans have increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.” They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbor” and “Lose.”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels .

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

Australia , meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be alright, Mate.” Two more escalation levels remain: “Crikey! I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!” and “The barbie is canceled.” So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

– John Cleese – British writer (of Monty Python fame), actor and tall person”

Geek Amusements

In order for some commands in IBM's Job Control Language (JCL) to work properly, a program must be executed, even if there is nothing that the program needs to do. Hence the standard IBM utility program IEFBR14, which was designed to not do anything at all.

There have been several versions released over the years, meaning that it took IBM multiple tries to write a program that does nothing.

Overnighter in Shenandoah National Park

On Friday two friends and I went backpacking in Shenandoah National Park in Northern Virginia. Greg also brought his Golden Retriever, Phoebe, who was a sweetie.

Hey look, a map!



We started at the Elkwallow picnic area, heading south on the Appalachian Trail until we hit the Neighbor Mountain Trail, which took us up and over the summit of the mountain. On the other side we got to the bottom of Jeremy's Run and set up camp. All told, about eight or nine miles for the day.

On the AT itself, we met three section hikers. Section hikers do only a part of the trail at a time, unlike "Thru Hikers" who do the entire length in one trip. It doesn't matter how you do it, hiking the whole length of the AT is an accomplishment no matter how long it takes. One guy was doing all of VA in April (about 500 miles), another all of SNP (101 miles), and the third was just hiking as far as he could in the time he had. Once we left the AT, we didn't see another soul for the rest of the day.

Jeremy's run was beautiful, but the night was a little colder than we'd anticipated (mid 30's). Even so, everyone slept warm.

The next morning, we ate and broke camp and started up Jeremy's Run. In fact, the very first thing we had to do was cross the stream to get to the trail on the other side. Greg decided to do it barefoot, but was complaining of numb feet on the other bank as he put on his socks and shoes.

The water in Jeremy's Run is really high and moving right now. The trail crosses the creek "at least a dozen times" (more than 15 I think) and a lot of the rock hopping that might be possible later in the Summer was just wishful thinking. Ice water is refreshing, right?

Being one of the more popular trails in the park, Saturday was like an interstate on the trail. One hiking group of at least 20 passed, five or six fishermen went by and all told there were easily 50 others we met or who passed us. I'll admit it, I was envious of their tiny day packs. Especially since the almost six miles back to the car was 90% uphill.

Oddly enough, I only saw one squirrel and a few birds. There were plenty singing away in the trees, but not many visible.

It was beautiful, we had a great time and I learned a few things about myself, my gear and packing (we all brought way too much food).

Photos here, and I'll update with another link when Alan posts the pictures he took.

Hometown Boys Done Good

The last thing Osama saw was a member of Seal Team 6, based in Dam Neck, Virginia.

Adios asshole.

Preview

If you want to see what I did Friday and Saturday, look here.

Good Thing I'm Wearing My Striped Socks

At work today they announced that we're under a Tornado Watch.

My first thought was, "We need an office pool about who the house drops on!"

All Hopped Up

Next Best Thing

According to South Park, you should ask yourself, "What Would Brian Boitano Do?"

If you're still not sure, ask me. Brian Boitano and I went to the same high school (he was a few years behind me), so you've got that going for you.

Happy Birthday!

Elegance. Class. Presence.

Long live the Queen.

Adventures On My Lunch Break

You may recall that I'm eccentric and still use fountain pens when I write. Since my office moved last year and we now work in downtownn Washington D.C., I've been meaning to wander over to visit Fahrney's Pen Store. Fahrney's has been in business since 1929, located within a block or two of where they're at now. I needed a few doo-dads for my pens, and since I was making the walk a nice bottle of ink was well deserved, and today was the day.

Fahrney's is located on the other side of the Ellipse from where I work, so I found myself braving crowds of tourons seeing the sights. Walking past the White House, there was excitement in the air, and I saw the First Dog out for his noon constitutional. Handsome animal, and very calm considering the ravening hoard barely contained by the tall iron fence between them. Of course, Bo was attended by a staff of two, one of which looked to be in a tux (White House staff perhaps?) and the other looked - honest to God - like a Secret Service agent. One of the gentlemen carried an umbrella, for himself or the dog is unknown. I saw no canine bodily functions on display, but like I said, I was on my way and just passing through.

Not long after, rain drops started to fall and I walked into the store just in time. Imagine a long, narrow space about the size of a single-wide trailer, immaculately maintained and elegantly appointed (the high ceiling had carved wooden moulding), and that's the interior of the store. I expected it to be much larger than that. Even so, no less than three people were behind the counters, and a fourth was in a small workshop/office in a back corner, the clutter hidden away from casual view.

I made a quick tour of the place, but because I had a list of exactly what I wanted and because I was on my lunch break, I dawdled just long enough to let the brief rain pass outside. I did note that the most expensive pen I saw there went for just shy of $3,000.00.

With my modest purchases in my happy little hands (simple pleasures), I headed back to work. Past the White House again and spotted the Presidential Vegetable Garden, meticulously maintained (by the riff-raff no doubt.) I was pleasantly surprised to hear conversations in Chinese, Korean, French, German and a few others I couldn't identify. It's kind of neat when you think of it, that so many people from around the world would come to America to see D.C.

Probably not one in ten knew what it was, but there was a huge plot of bright red tulips in full bloom. Standing at the base of the bed, you'd realize that it was a tribute to the First Infantry Division - The "Big Red One".

According to Google Maps, it was a two mile walk. Very pleasant, very touristy. I can't imagine going to Fahrney's again for a year or two, so y'all are probably spared another post like this for the forseeable future. *insert sigh-of-relief here*

Because I Haven't Posted Anything Truly Scary Lately

Sunday Morning

After the powerful storms that blasted through here yesterday, we woke up to a glorious spring day. I went out back and spent about a half hour doing garden chores, then made a cup of tea to test my new backpacking stove (made it yesterday while stuck inside - it works like a champ).

As I was sitting there, enjoying the tea and sunshine, I noticed unusual bird calls from the woods behind the house. I grabbed my monocular and spent a relaxing hour watching the hawks play. There were several - more than three, maybe as many as six - zooming around each other, circling high before diving in close strafing runs, just generally having fun. There was no mid-air attacking or general agressiveness that I saw. A couple of times, I spied pairs sitting side by side in the top branches of the trees, making me think it may have been mating displays going on.

The other clue were those unusual bird calls. Those hawks weren't making ordinary hawk sounds. They sounded like a dog's squeaky toy. Sharp and high pitched and wheezy, kind of a goofy sound for a bad-ass bird like a hawk to be making.

I guess love makes fools of us all.

Good Isn't Good Enough

I'm not a big Dairy Queen fan, but after seeing this commercial, I'm going. They've earned it.

A Rare Linkworthy Link

Rare, as in I usually am too lazy to do so, not rare as in there are few worthy of being linked.

Behold greatness.

Sounds Like A Plan

It's Harder Than This, Rebecca

Then again, maybe it isn't.

Evil Banking Corporation Cares More About The Troops Than The Current Placeholder In The White House

Remember last week when the troops were told that if the government shut down, that they'd only get half a paycheck on payday, then no more until the government reopened? Of course, they'd still be expected to fight in Afghanistan, Iraq and Libya.

Remember last week when President Obama vowed to veto the continuing resolution that would have funded the military for the rest of the year?

Kudos to Navy Federal Credit Union, who announced that any military member who had a direct deposit account (translation: virtually all) would get a full paycheck. In other words, the Credit Union would front the rest of their pay and members could settle up with the Credit Union when the regular paychecks started again and the retro pay was in hand.

Glad it wasn't needed, but very cool nonetheless.

Dirt Watch - Weekend Edition

Planted two squares of lettuce today, eight heads in all. I'll plant another two squares in two weeks to stretch the harvest.

Peas and broccoli are doing great, spinach is sprouting like crazy and the radishes are already popping their zesty little greenery up into the sunlight. My onions aren't doing so hot... I think. I have a couple that seem to be doing great, but most of them are just kinda there. Since they're underground doing their thing, I can't really tell if they're taking the final dirt nap or merely resting. Time will tell.

No word yet on the Swiss Chard or the carrots. For some reason, because of the "Swiss" in the name, I feel like I must capitalize the chard.

Weird.

Shut. Down.

I've been declared "essential" during the Government shutdown, but only for 4 hours a day. I guess that makes me half-essed.

No Honey Badgers in the DC Government

Saturday's annual Cherry Blossom Parade has been deemed "non-essential" and will be cancelled if the government shuts down.

You should hear the anguished screaming.

Concentrated Essence of Honey Badger

Alternate title: A whole heap o' stuff you don't give a shit about.

Dirt Watch. I planted broccoli and onions just before it snowed last week. Broccoli and onions don't give a shit! They're doing fine. I saw the first of the peas emerging (from seed). I did a nipple check and yes, I was excited. Something was fucking with the garden. I'm guessing birds. They scratched a couple of holes in the loose soil and knocked over some of my popsicle stick markers. I plant Swiss Chard today.

I camped out in the backyard again last night. Temps to the mid-30s. I tweaked my sleeping setup a little and was toasty comfortable all night. I've already told them at work that if the Government shuts down and I'm not essential, I'm going for a long hike.

To that end, I tested some trail recipes at work for lunch. Knorr (Lipton) parmesan noodles, powdered milk (Nido, not that nasty Carnation crap), butter buds and diced pepperoni. Throw it in a freezer ziplock, add near-boiling water to cover and tuck it into a cozy for 20 minutes. Freakin' awesome, and smelled good enough to make the local cubical denizens jealous. Did some curry rice the same way another day.

Our dog is wearing an inflatable collar for a few days. There's an area around his butt that's irritated and he won't leave it alone to heal. A little mockery ("li'l donut head") and some cortisone spray and it's looking much better already.

I'd ask if you enjoyed this, but I've been taking pointers from Honey Badger.

Mama, Nobody Mentioned Growed-Up Cowgirls

Clever name: The Wailin' Jennys.

If you don't get it, say it out loud.

Resisting Mightily

Sheri asked where I've been getting these goofy pictures that I've been posting. I've been cruising Tumblr, and trying hard not to let it become a new timesuck. It's like a micro-sized copy of the internet, in picture form, where you can find damn near anything you can imagine. And some things you'd rather never, ever again.

So here's another batch of Tumblr funny.

First Overnighter of the Year

Back in January, I posted about Rachael and I making a camping quilt for me.* The quilt is designed to be good down to about 40 degrees, and since last night's forecast was for lows in the low 30's, it was a perfect chance to see if my quilt could be used comfortably below the rated temp.

There are several ways to extend the range of your sleeping bag or quilt. The first is to add layers such as socks, long johns or a coat. There's an old saying: if your feet are cold, put on a hat. It's true. You can add a light layer outside the bag, like a poncho (as long as you're not compressing the all-important loft of the insulation. Another way is to increase the insulation under you, by adding another pad or even a thick pile of leaves under your tent. Some recommend a hot water bottle: pour boiling water into a stainless steel bottle, slip a sock over it to keep from burning you, then put the whole thing into a gallon ziplock (in case it leaks) and slip it down at your feet.

I set up 'camp' in my backyard. After putting up my tent I laid out my sleeping pads. For cold weather I use a blue closed-cell foam (CCF) pad from WalMart under my Thermarest pad (extra ground insulation). I also spread out my quilt and let it rest for a while and reloft after being packed up in my backpack.

Around 9pm I headed out for the night, dressed as I would be for a regular backpacking trip; long sleeve poly shirt, light windbreaker pants and wool socks. I woke up a few times during the night (normal for me) and checked the temperature, which was falling steadily.

At 45 degrees I pulled on a fleece hat. At 40 degrees I pulled on my field jacket liner and bundled a little deeper under the quilt. Still toasty. At 35 degrees (5am or so) I woke up and, although not cold, I wasn't really warm anymore either. My usual work wake-up time is 4am, so I came on inside, well rested and satisfied with the results.

I still had a lightweight thermal top and bottom I could have put on, so I feel pretty confident that my setup will take me comfortably down to freezing, and survivable well into the 20's. I don't Winter camp, but this should be good enough for most early Spring/late Fall surprises that Mother Nature throws at us, especially since I've got a trip planned for the end of April up into the Blue Ridge Mountains.

* Bou asked for pictures, so here's a couple shots of the quilt.

The first one shows the quilt spread out, showing its semi-mummy shape. It's made of ripstop nylon with synthetic insulation inside.


Here's the footbox. The bottom 18" or so is sewed together to make a cozy little cave for your feet. You can kind of see the draft-stopper, which is a fringe of nylon that runs all the way around the quilt. It's perfect for tucking under you when it's really chilly.

A Veteran And His Dog

A man who figured it out.

A Treat For You

I know, after all of the garden blogging of late, how can I spoil you so? Trust me, Amigos, you are well worth it. I have before me a couple of movies to watch, and you know the kind. I thought I'd give y'all an old-fashioned Rocket Jones review as I watched.

You lucky devils.

Sins of the Fleshapoids (1965)

Kuchar. If that name doesn't make you shiver (trepidation or excitement, either/or), then you have never seen one of brothers Mike and George Kuchar cinematic... I almost said masterpieces, but couldn't keep a straight face. Their movies suck. In that good way, mostly, that I love so much. For most of you, they suck in the bad way.

Five minutes into this one, and we've learned that it takes place a million years in the future and that humans live in a true paradise (accompanied by a slow camera pan across a platter of plastic fruit.) We know this because the only dialog so far is from the narrator, who sounds suspiciously like Elmer Fudd. As for visual evidence, Mardi Gras beads are still in. Paradise, don't'cha know.

The fleshapoids are robot slaves to the humans, and in a million years of progress, humanity has managed to make them look like dorky geeks in silly hats and black lipstick.

Humans mostly lie around, eat fruit, ice cream cones and Clark bars, and get back rubs from hunchback fleshapoids. There's no nudity here, the humans all have enormous cardboard cutout flowers and fig leaves covering their dainty bits. The humans also spend a great deal of time admiring and exchanging Mardi Gras beads.

I'm guessing here, but fleshaoids are created without a sense of humor, because they keep a straight face even while the humans do some seriously lame-ass dancing.

Dialog! Well, no. One of the characters speaks to her fleshapoid, but rather than going to all the effort of moving her lips, a cartoon balloon appears next to her head with the words she says. Uh huh.

A million years of progress. She threatens the fleshapoid with "I'll wet you so you rust!" The robot looks frightened. I could probably see the same thing on Alt.Binaries.Watersports. I made that name up, by the way. Really, I did. If it actually exists (and I wouldn't be surprised), then my question is, how did you know that?

Murder. More cartoon balloons, most bearing no relationship to the head speaking. Mardi Gras beads. Narrator. Robot abuse. False eyelash abuse.

With names like Tar, Malenka and Arbundi, the Queen's secret lover is named Ernie?

I'm sorry I keep coming back to this "million years of progress", but you'd think they'd have better teeth.

"Put out the candle" (thought balloon). Queen throws a glass of water at it rather than just blowing it out. I think this is the sequel to Idiocracy, in some odd time warpy fashion.

Finally, something to smile about! This movie is only 43 minutes long! There are two other Kuchar flicks on the disk. I'll spare you, because I care.

It just dawned on me that I haven't heard the narrator in about 10 minutes. Still smiling!

Bath scene. Ernie and two male fleshapoids (NTTAWWT).

Ernie just got dressed in a hurry because King found out about him. He's dressed in a full football outfit, including shoulder pads and helmet. And Mardi Gras beads. And a flower garland. Queen tries to kiss him through the cage on Ernie's helmet. It looks as stupid as it sounds.

Ernie learns, never piss off a Queen.

Narrator is back. Dammit.

King gets pushed down a flight of stairs, then catches two robots doing it. "Doing it" means electrocuting each other every time they try to touch.

I'm almost pissing myself laughing. After a long, drawn out scene showing the female fleshapoid writhing around on the ground, she finally calms down and smiles. Know what's coming? Yep, she gives birth. Hilarious. She's laying there on the floor, knees up and legs spread, and out from between under her skirt marches a little wind-up robot.

Final annoyance from the narrator, and Finis.

I didn't give away all the plot surprises, because maybe someone will want to get this to see for themselves, although I can't imagine why. Unless it's for the lady wetting the robot, or robot sex, or... ew.

Warning: Content May Cause Elevated Heartrate

Yep, here's the threatened promised photos of this year's foray into Square Foot Gardening.

Two four foot square boxes, a modest start for sure. If this goes well though, I'll be harvesting an amazing amount of home-grown goodness out of here.



This is a better view of the mason line I used to grid the boxes. The wet area in the upper right is where I've already planted. Eight snow peas are in the two grids straddled by the trellis, and the two cornermost grids have four spinach seeds each.



Here's a detail of the trellises that I put together. Made of 1/2" steel electrical conduit, what annoyed me was that 40' of the conduit was less than $9.00, but those corner pieces (I needed 4) cost almost $16.00! I got the nylon netting from Amazon and tied it on myself (I have lots of leftover too). All told, those trellisi cost about $45.00 but should be good for many years, and they're strong enough to hold up anything I might want to grow.


I was hopeful, but I doubt this will live up to NogWatch.

That's What She Said

Thrilling Update

Today was a busy day, garden wise. I built trellises for the cucumbers, tomatoes and peas out of electrical conduit and nylon netting. Once that was done, I planted the first of the peas and spinach.

Later I'll try to get pictures, but for now, just imagine boxes of dirt with string stretched all over the place.

Edge of your seat, innit?

Twog

I don't tweet on twitter, but I may go to the short, pithy format here on Rocket Jones). Mayb

Thumbs Up

Those curved shower curtain rods that give you extra space? Freakin' brilliant.

Best Website Ever

Evangel Cathedral.

I stole the title and all from Minor Perfidy.

Randomness - Employed Edition

Another week starts at the workplace. According to Liz, I really need one of these. Actually, my boss thinks so too. My kids probably do, but they're all afraid to talk to me, so I'll take that as agreement.


One of these would help wash down the pill and do double duty to calm my hyper self down.


If I had a company laptop, this would be the skin I had for it. I am *the* anti-Apple Fanboy.


A little practical joke to lighten the mood.


I'd get a pad of these, but people wouldn't know if I was joking or not. I hate having to explain that yes, you are my bitch in the office.


What's more annoying in the workplace: atheists or preachy Christians? I suggest scheduling them together for a long meeting in a conference room far away from everyone else, so that I can get some damn work done.


I would promote the creative thinker that did this.


I don't get nearly as many co-workers dropping in to bullshit since I got this new Visitor's Chair.


This is my story and I'm sticking to it.

Let The Weirdness Begin

Liz: What are these eggshells doing on the counter?
Me: Drying.
Liz: Let me guess, you're going to use them for some weird gardening thing?

Why yes. Yes I am.

It's that time of year again, when my thoughts turn to gardening. I have a green thumb, although I don't always apply myself. Mostly I grow flowers, but will occasionally get the urge to grow something edible.

Like this year. I've decided to do a little Square Foot Gardening. I've planned out two four foot square beds and have started to get things together.

The fundamental bit here is that you use raised beds, lined with landscaping cloth on the bottom to prevent weeds. Then you fill the boxes (mine will be framed with 2x10's) with a mixture of peat moss, vermiculite and compost. Notice what's missing? Yep, no dirt. No topsoil. No "potting mix".

The other important thing is the "square foot" bit. You plant the beds in one foot plots. So for my first try, I'll be planting 4 squares of lettuce (16 plants), 2 of carrots (32 total), 2 each of spinach, broccoli and green beans, snap peas *and* snow peas (trellised), cucumbers (ditto), plus more! The idea is compact and intensive growing and harvesting. When a crop is done (for example, carrots), then you immediately plant the next crop, whatever it may be. You can add compost or a little fertilizer as needed, and because of the growing medium there is very little weeding to be done.

And y'all get to share in my little gardening adventure.

You may recall a few weekends ago, Liz and I travelled four hours to buy bags of vermiculite. In the gardening world, that counts as adventure.

Oh, and the eggshells. You see, you collect them until you have a dozen or two's worth (rinsed, of course), then soak them overnight in a five gallon bucket of water. Use the water to give your peppers and tomatoes a drink. They love the calcium. Then you can crush the eggshells and spread them around your plants. Snails and slugs hate to crawl over them.

Sad That It Even Needs Saying

From Dustbury.

Living Up To The Moniker

My son TJ and I went out to Great Meadow Equestrian Center today for a NOVAAR rocket launch. The weather was grey and windy, but not quite breezy enough to cancel. It was a chilly 40-ish degrees out there.

There was the usual crowd. At least one cub scout troop making their first ever flights with Alpha 3's (a classic beginner rocket). There were several groups of students and mentors present, making practice flights for the upcoming Team America Rocketry Challenge. There were also some competition flyers, putting up gliders and rockets for duration contest points. All in all, a very busy day for the club working the pads.

I caught up with some old friends I hadn't seen in awhile, including Ken Allen of Performance Hobbies. I asked him to bring me up to speed on the current high power rocket motor regulations. You may recall that the organization I belong to, the National Association of Rocketry, sued the BATFE over their insistance that rocket motors were the same as explosives. Well, we won. Not only that, but we also won back some court costs incurred during the multi-year battle too.

Bottom line: no government regulation! Woot!

So I've got some high power rockets that have been doing nothing but hanging on the wall and looking cool as shit, that will be returning to the air in the near future.

But that's another day. Today was windy, so to try to limit the drift on the way back down we stayed with streamers instead of chutes. Here's what we flew:

1. Der Red Max - C6-5 - a classic, built from plans at Jim Z's amazing site.* Perfect flight, but as expected, lots of drift.

2. Saturn Wannabee - 4x A10-3T - this is an original design that uses a cluster of four mini-motors. All four lit, she got great altitude, and it sounded like popcorn when all four ejection charges went off almost simultaneously.

3. Groove Tube - C6-5 - another classic built from plans. This tube-finned rocket made her usual arrow straight boost, but the nosecone and streamer separated when the ejection charge fired. This demonstrated something aerodynamically odd about tube fins, namely that in a breeze they produce lift and the rocket body essentially glided to the ground. TJ recovered all the pieces, which landed very close to each other. I'll replace the shock cord and she'll be good as new.

4. Sparrow - A10-3T - this was my very first rocket, the one that started it all for me. Almost 20 years old and looking just beat up enough to have some character, she lifted off in a hurry and, because she's so small, most of the crowd lost sight of her. I knew what to expect, so I had no problem keeping track. People just don't expect the smaller rockets to go that fast or that high. I usually fly this one once a year, just to keep her in the logbook.

That was it. We were getting cold, so we headed home. I'd been neglecting the fleet lately as other interests had my attention, so the day did what I was hoping it would, it reignited my excitement (pun intended) about flying rockets again.

* Jim Z contacted all the old rocket companies like Estes, Centuri, MRC, etc. and got permission to post scans of the original plans and decal sheets on the internet. Every company agreed without hesitation (because they rock), and for years now rocketeers have been scrounging in their attics and basements for forgotten boxes and rocket kits. I'd guess that about 90% of everything ever released has been found and posted online, for free and open use.

Spring Isn't (Quite) Here (Yet)

Seemingly overnight, Crocus have sprouted and are blooming in the front flower beds.

Sunday Crafty Stuff---y???

For you knitters, a zombie doll pattern.



You're welcome.

They're Watching, And They Learn. Oh Yes They Do.

Our dog Trix learned from one of our other, long departed dogs, that one's higher canine purpose was to protect the world from vacuum cleaners. He'd be proud to hear me say that our vacuum is *never* turned on without him attacking the hose.

Ozzie the rabbit has obviously been paying attention, because he now, too, attacks the hose and nozzle as we vacuum his cage each day. It's all in fun, they're not afraid of it, it's a toy to them. In fact, Oz still enjoys being vacuumed, which is incredibly helpful during shedding season.

It's funny how in sync Oz and Trix really are. Trix gets fed once a day, at 5pm, and there are many days when I get home from work and need a nap. When asked when I want to get up, the answer is usually "dinner time". Sometimes Trix will let me sleep until 5:30, but mostly his internal alarm isn't that patient and he wakes me up at five-ish for dinner.

The rabbits get fresh greens every evening at 8pm. If we're a little late, Ozzie will run into the bedroom where Liz watches TV, makes some noise or thumps to let her know he's there, then runs back to his cage. Translation: "Dinnertime, dammit!"

I look over at their cage and three beady sets of eyes are on me. Each of them are chewing away, Oz and Java at their hay bins (apparently they love this new batch of timothy grass we got them), and Fred one level above, munching pellets.

Staring.