Saturday, July 25, 2009

Movie Review Time: Goth Kill

Imagine that you sit down to a fancy meal. You know that it's going to be great, nay, epic, but as the first course is presented you realize that it's a hairball in broth. If you can just manage the hairball, you're going to enjoy an incredible rest of the dinner.

I'm going to get that hairball swallowed first, because once you get past it, Goth Kill is a fun flick.

Now imagine that you're a priest in the time of the Inquisition. You're a devout and sincere priest, and you're horrified to learn that some of your fellow priests have convicted some people to burn at the stake merely to confiscate their property and wealth. When you threaten to expose the corrupt priests, they quickly condemn you to burn with the rest.

So what do you do?

If you answered that as the flames consume you you make a pact with Satan that you will come back to Earth over and over until you murder 100,000 people, and that those souls will be yours to rule over eternally, then you have no gag reflex.

The rest of us, choke that hairball down and let's get on with the rest of the plot.

Set in the modern day, Goth Kill tells the story of that priest, come back yet again to collect a few last souls. This time, he's looking to harvest the members of a New York goth club called the Scorpion Society.

Besides the priest - who steals the show - the principle characters are a pair of young ladies visiting the club for the first time. These three are the only ones you end up caring about, because the Inquisition priests and the club members turn out to be real scumbags. The movie makes fun of the goth and vampire scene, dressing some of the characters up to the point of silly and mocking their behavior.

Definitely low budget, nevertheless the acting is adaquate for the most part. The direction and camera work is interesting, as is the editing. The soundtrack is fun too.

There are boobs, but not as many as you would expect. The blood is plentiful and the gore is implied.

As for the story, it's surprisingly intelligent and thought provoking. The flashbacks and twists keep things moving, and though it seems to drag at times, before you know it the movie is ending.

About the lead character. The priest is played by a fire performer named Flambeaux, and I'd like to see him in other movies. The guy has charisma and can act, and it'd be nice to see him work with a better supporting cast.

This one gets a Rocket Jones recommendation, for whatever that's worth.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Go Figure

Who would have thought that the same people who claim that "a dog's mouth is cleaner than a human" or "dog licking is like getting a bath" would act all weird because I used the dog's dish as a spoon rest while cooking dinner.

The dish was licked spotlessly clean, I might add.

I supposed I should also add that the dog had been sitting right there the whole time, so I know for a fact that he had licked nothing gross or jealousy-inducing before eating.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Add A Little Spice To Your Life

Breakfast this morning is a chicken and cheese chimichanga, a couple of jalepeno poppers, and a dish of pinto beans. Yum!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Electronic Cigarettes

My wife Liz has been trying the new eCigarettes, and so far seems to be liking them. Instead of burning tobacco, the way these work is when you draw on them, a sensor vaporizes a small amount of liquid containing nicotine and that's what you inhale. You exhale water vapor.

They're not designed to help you quit smoking, and you're not going to save 90% by using them, but you will save a fair amount. Plus, there's no longer any smoke, no messy ashtrays, no smell, and no looking for the designated smoking area (if there is one).

Most work more or less the same way, consisting of a mouthpiece, an atomizer, a cartridge for the fluid (some are refillable, some are pre-filled), and a rechargeable battery to power the whole thing. Most are about the size and shape of a real cigarette.

If you smoke, these are worth looking into. Do some research online, the quality and prices vary quite a bit. I do believe that these will be the wave of the future.

Quote of the Whenever I Feel Like It

"1-year-old Trig Palin represents the deepest division of all, between a culture that increasingly sees genetic perfection as an entitlement and a culture still rooted in the belief that human beings are defined not by their capabilities but, instead, by the very fact of their humanity.”

-- Politico

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Eventually, This Was Bound To Happen

This recent painting was inspired by the movie Phantom of the Opera. I was watching England's Hammer Studios version and they used this shot to play the credits over.

To see more of my work as I learn to paint (and write), check out my other site, Quiet Tales.

Happy Birthday Mookie!

Our daughter Rachael is 21 today. Put your good wishes into the comments.

Thursday, July 09, 2009

Everything Under The Sun

Check out this interesting article: 5 Brilliant, Innovative Handgun Designs That Performed As They Were Supposed To, But Sucked Anyway

Just What I Need

I like WalMart. Yeah, some of the people who shop there are scary, but I've been a loyal customer since you could only find them in small towns.

My next door neighbor is a Manager for WalMart, and we were discussing something I saw in the paper about how WalMart is slightly upscaling their stores because of the economy.* Seems that higher-income people who used to be firmly in the "I'd never shop at WalMart" camp are now stretching their tight dollars by shopping there. And WalMart is figuring out ways to keep these folks coming back, even after things get better. Which is what successful businesses do,** even if you do think they're the spawn of Satan.

So now (painting with a broad brush here), besides dealing with the usual social misfits and trailer trash who shop there, now I have to put up with yuppie scum and their larvae too. Gee, thanks.

* WalMart accelerated the renovation schedule of their stores three years ago, anticipating current events. These people think way ahead when they plan, and they usually get it right, which is how you get to the top. And stay there.

** Target stores have always been geared more towards trendy goods, sales of which have taken a huge hit. Their response is to vastly increase their food sections. Pricey compared to WalMart, not bad compared to Giant or Safeway.

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

Quote of the Whenever I Feel Like It

Obama is a boil on the ass of Uncle Sam. And when it comes to a head, it'll have the face of Lenin.

-- Me, tired of the systematic trampling of the Constitution

Possible Career Move

I think I might become a personal trainer. I understand that it's a non-conventional idea considering the shape I'm in, but think about it. I'd specialize in helping people who are intimidated by the usual hyper-fit trainer.

Me: Ok, on the treadmill for 15 minutes.
Client: Let's see *you* do the treadmill for 15 minutes.
Me: Nice try. You aren't paying me to run the treadmill, so get moving!

Saturday, July 04, 2009

Quote of the Whenever I Feel Like It

I’m a Catholic. We’re taught that sex is a dirty, vile, disgusting act — that you save for the one you truly love.

-- Paul Begala

Friday, July 03, 2009


I had to tear out a really invasive plant from my side flower bed. The flowers were pretty, but the dang thing was trying to take over and strangle out everything else. So what is left are my Dragonflowers (a Virginia-native species of Snapdragon) and Phlox.

Looking good. Bonus: every time you open the front door or walk by, you get a nose full of this most heavenly scent.

New Original Paintings Posted

I thought about becoming a tortured artistic soul, but I tend to excess and worried that I'd wind up waterboarding myself.

So far my artwork is angst-free, for good or bad. Go check it out at Quiet Tales, my artsy-fartsy place.

Dog Owners Will Understand

A guy I know online has just completed a 700 mile journey to see his dogs. He'd lost his job in Oklahoma several months ago and finally moved to Iowa to look for work, leaving his dogs in the care of friends back home. Iowa was a bust, but things are picking up back in Oklahoma, so he headed back. He doesn't own much of anything because he's sold damn near everything to pay bills, including his truck. So he walked back to Oklahoma, hitchhiking when he could, but he mostly stayed to the smaller back roads and walked most of the way.

700 miles. To see his dogs again.

Me? In a heartbeat.

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Hitler Finds Out That Michael Jackson Is Dead

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

What I Watched - 2nd Quarter 2009

Here's what I watched in the first quarter of 2009. Pray for me.

I'll add links to this list soon, and movies marked with a Nathan Hale ("I regret that I have but one ass-to-risk for my country") will link to an original Rocket Jones review.

Maybe you'll look through the list and say "whoa, that sounds cool!" Or not.

So, since April 1, 2009:

Mulberry Street - Not what I expected. An effective low-budget thriller where the horror is never really explained.
The Madmen of Madoras - This seemed very familiar, and then I realized it was a retitled "They Saved Hitler's Brain".
Crowley - Nice premise, but I was bored.
She Freak - Old carnie horror. Better than I expected.
Hard Candy
Fido - Sweet and touching zombie flick. No, really!
Sea Hawks - Errol Flynn still rocks.
Flesh for the Beast - This one gets slammed by reviewers, but I like it.
Bare Behind Bars - Brazilian. Women's prison. Actual plot. Occasionally goes hardcore.
Revenge of the Nerds - A fave.
Evil of Frankenstein - Dammit, why don't the peasants understand?
The Incredibles - by far my favorite Pixar.
The 'Burbs - Another all-time favorite.
Night Creatures
Kiss of the Vampire
Flyboys - I was entertained, as long as I didn't think about historical accuracy.
Strange Circus - Japanese surreal horror. "Strange" is an understatement.
Flower and Snake II - Intense Japanese S&M thriller. Better story than the original.
Goth Kill - review coming soon
Female Yakuza Tale - supposedly an inspiration for "Kill Bill". I'll have to watch KB, just to see if there are as many sword-wielding Japanese women in it. Did I mention that they're usually naked too?
A Chinese Ghost Story II - Picks up where the first left off. Spooky romance filled with dark humor. Think Stephen King meets "Three's Company". The English subtitles are hilariously bad.

Movie-watching has been light these past three months, what with nice weather and real life and all.