Hippies and Hikers

Last weekend, a few "need to do" things fortuitously aligned so Liz and I spent a nice, long Valentine's Day weekend down in southwest Virginia.

I took Friday off and we headed down, eventually reaching Roanoke, Virginia. I had never been there before and was surprised at how big it was and by how beautiful the scenery is. Roanoke is seemingly surrounded by the Blue Ridge mountains, and the Appalachian Trail (AT) also happens to pass fairly close by.

First stop upon arrival was a trip out to Seven Springs Farm for vermiculite. This stuff is useful in gardening and almost impossible to find. Seven Springs is an organic farm supply place that not only stocks it, but has it at a very reasonable price. The only drawback was having to go pick it up myself, because shipping the stuff would cost as much as the vermiculite itself (it's incredibly light but bulky).

The online directions were... uh, less than useful. Luckily, our GPS took us more or less right to the place. Let me state for the record, that I still believe GPS should be a "trust but verify" kind of tool, but the more I use it, the more I believe it's made out of equal parts magic and awesome.

It was a beautiful drive. Over one mountain and partway around another, we were a good 45 minutes outside of Roanoke by the time we got there.

In the "small world" category, the folks from the farm had given a talk on organic and sustainable food production during a class Mookie took at Mary Baldwin college. I said that their website sounded like the place was run by "hippies", she laughed and said, "yeah, pretty much." Growing up in the San Fransisco bay area during the 60's, to me the term "hippy" is more a term of endearment than derision.

So we get to the farm, drive down a dirt road, find the store and nobody is around. Posted on the door is a list of things to do if nobody is there. This isn't the actual list, but it's close:

1. Honk your horn several times, wait a few minutes.
2. Go over to the house, knock and see if anyone is home.
3. Go into the store, use the phone to call ...... and tell him you're at the store.
4. Call ...... and tell Daisy you're at the store (she lives a couple miles away, so be patient as you wait for her).
5. Go to Daisy's house (directions below) and knock on her door.
6. Use the computer inside the store to send an email to ....... and let them know you're waiting.

And so on.

Liz and I waited a little bit and I walked around and checked the barns and sheds in the vicinity. No worries, on a weekend like this, I can be patient. Soon enough a truck pulls up and a guy gets out with a load of compost. Within minutes the farmer arrived too. He asked us what we needed (we were expected, I'd let them know via email beforehand), and we got directions to the "warehouse", which was another large barn down a couple more dirt roads.

We loaded up the bags of vermiculite, I paid and we all talked about gardening and farming for a bit, then we headed back to Roanoke. It had already been a long day.

The other big event in Roanoke was a hiker's gathering on Saturday. A couple of Roanoke locals had posted the idea on a forum I frequent that they'd like to host an evening of pizza and beer, just to get to know other hiker's from the area. If anyone else wanted to come, they were welcome to join in too. The idea caught fire, and in a few weeks their were almost 30 people coming. It also grew to include a Saturday morning hike and maybe a slide show or two from folks to show some of the trails they'd hiked.

A quick word about hikers on the Appalachian Trail. Many take on "trail names". Sometimes the name is bestowed upon them by other hikers because of a memorable trait or moment, sometimes the hiker names him or herself. Either way, there's usually a story. Not surprisingly, my trail name is Rocket Jones.

I opted out of the hike. This was a valentine's weekend for us, so spending time with Liz was my first priority. Besides, I'd be gone to the gathering most of the evening, and Liz didn't want to go to that.

Those who hiked went up to McAfee Knob, a landmark on the AT. Here's one of the iconic pictures of the trail.

Most everyone who hikes by McAfee Knob takes a photo, but only the bravest sit on the edge like this. You can also get an idea of the view from up there.

Personally, I've seen way too many RoadRunner cartoons to sit like that.

In the photo, by the way, is Caitlin. She came down from the University of Miami, Ohio, with her friend Sunshine and Sunshine's dad Kerosene. He drove from Ann Arbor, Michigan to pick up the girls and just kept right on driving to Roanoke. Kerosene is a section hiker, he's done about 1500 miles of the AT, section at a time as his vacations allow. Someone who does the whole 2200 miles in one go is known as a thru-hiker.

So yeah, Kerosene and the girls got the award for mostest out-of-town. Jersey Dave came in second, and my measly four hour drive was almost nothing in comparison.

The gathering was held at a great place in downtown Roanoke, hosted by Hikerhead and J5Man (real names are Don and Jeff, but most of us only knew each other via forum/trail names). Lots of good beer, good pizza and great conversation. Much putting of faces to names. I met Graceful Roll, who was diagnosed with Leukemia in November and spent most of December in the hospital (mucho goodwill and gifting sent to her once word hit the forum). She's just been cleared by her doctors to hike again and she still wore a goofy hat-thing to hide the after effects of chemo. After meeting her, I have no doubt that she'll kick its ass.

I spent a good bit of time talking to a nice older couple named Haranzo (I think his name was Henry and I can't remember hers at the moment). Turned out that they're the parents of John Haranzo, who had a new shelter built and named for him as a memorial on the trail (John's Spring Shelter). Henry is now the trail maintainer for a few miles of the AT, making sure the trail is clear of tree blowdowns, picking up trash, making note of any erosion problems, etc. He hikes up the mountain four times a week to do that, as a volunteeer. Later, it came out that Henry is 76 years old! I really enjoyed talking to them.

There were several great slide shows afterwards, but the highlight (for me) was CookerHiker's set from the John Muir Trail in California. This is the part of Yosemite that the lazy tourists don't see.


I left the party several hours later, full of pizza, stories and with lots of new friends. They're planning to make this an annual event, and I'm definitely going back.

On Sunday, Liz and I headed back home. As we drove up I-81, we paralleled the mountains and I think for the first time Liz realized that along those blue ridges the Appalachian Trail meandered, and that somehow, someday, I was going to walk those 2000 plus miles.

There'll Be A Hot Time In The Old Town Tonight

It's major windy here, sustained over 25mph, gusts over 40mph. Wildfires have shut down the interstate at our exit. I heard on the radio that Maryland is having the same issues. So far, authorities are saying that our fires have been caused by cooking fires at the "hobo camps" where the homeless gather. Sounds plausible, as from what I see on the maps, each fire originated in wooded areas that aren't developed yet.

I have a feeling that Prince William County is going to be rather unhospitable to the homeless for a while after this.

*chuckles*

Liz is in the other room, feeding the bunnies. The dog is in there too, because he knows he gets a small dent-a-stick when the rabbits eat. As the critters gather for the feast, I can hear Liz say:

"Everybody gets pets tonight. Everybody wang chung tonight."

For The Record

If "applewood smoked bacon" disappeared from the planet tomorrow, it wouldn't bother me a bit.

Perfect

We have to use a card key to enter the building where I work. They're having problems with the card reader and it takes several tries to get the doors to open, and of course the fucker teases you by flashing the green light for a split second. I asked the armed receptionist (guard) when they were going to fix it and he told me that the reader was "just sensitive". Great. Now, in addition to dealing with people all day, I have to put up with emo bullshit from a mechanical device.

Attention Span of a Bumblebee (UPDATED)

This post will be all over the place.

I don't feel well. In fact, I feel like I've been kicked in the balls. Hard. That's what happens when you pass a tiny kidney stone at work. I have some apologies to make in the morning, because I was a prick to some people who really didn't deserve it.

Some did, don't get me wrong.

The last two times I've had fast food, my order has been wrong. Last week, I didn't get the crust I wanted on my pizza, and tonight my burrito isn't even close to the one I asked for. Maybe these mega-menus have gotten out of hand, because if you fuck up my order, then I really didn't get it "my way" now, did I?

This morning I delivered a huge bag of vermiculite to a co-worker (more on the vermiculite hunt later). She commented on how light it was, and I told her it was made of the crushed hopes and dreams of the people who worked in our office.

If anyone wants to go hiking, backpacking or camping this Spring, Summer or Fall, give a holler. I've got plans for Shenandoah National Park and Prince William Forest Park, at the very least.

Update:

Mixed feelings about this one. A couple of months ago, DC tore up some road to repair and repave. They did the grinding down bit to remove the surface and jackhammered up some other patches. Of course, the following day Winter arrived and they've left the road torn up because it has been too cold to lay asphalt. So every day, about a quarter mile of my commute is like driving through a third world country. A couple of days ago, we had a fluke single day of 70 degree weather. Damned if they didn't get that road paved. Credit where due, someone was actually paying attention.

Happy Valentine's Day

Rocket Jones style...

Tug on those ol' nostalgia heart strings.


It was innocent in the 3rd grade, why not now?


Women love to hear this.


Personalize it, FTW!


Even a serious message can be a little whimsical.


Be creative.


With everything.


Whatever you decide on, don't be predictable.


Jewelry is usually a can't miss.


Surprise her with a lovely meal.


Who knows where it'll end up?


Bottom Line.

Title Not Needed

STPD

On my way to work this morning, I followed a car with vanity plates that announced:

TP SHELF

And I wondered why anyone would put that nonsense on a really nice car. I mean, I have a toilet paper shelf in each bathroom. WTF?

Then I realized, it's supposed to mean "top shelf."

Sorry Mario, that's a big FAIL.

Tura Satana - RIP

Damn.

I reviewed one of her movies, Astro Zombies, here. She was one of my favorite stars in those crappy movies that I love so much.

Thank you, find peace.

Sorting Through My Crap

I was cleaning out a directory where I "hold" all kinds of random stuff, and realized I had some "knife" pictures. Thought to myself, "whoa, that's almost like a theme!"

You're probably thinking, "whoa, what's with all the damn quote marks?"

Remember kiddies, no matter how friendly they seem to be, bears are still wild fucking animals.


Mrs. Landers had had just about enough of the Beav.


This one's supposed to be animated.


How I met my wife.

Time and Effort

I spent all day working on something that didn't need doing, and I would have known that if only I spoke fluent fucking idiot.

Chutzpah

Used to be, the common example for chutzpah was the kid who murdered his parents and then begged for mercy from the court because he was an orphan.

We have a new candidate.

One of the local power companies (not mine, thank God) has an abysmal record when it comes to restoring power after storm outages. I'm talking days later than adjacent power companies here.

This power company just requested a temporary rate increase to make up the money they lost because so many of their customers weren't using electricity for so long after the last storm.

I wonder if that orphaned kid grew up to be a utility executive?

Of Course, They All Beat the French

Way Better Than An Imaginary Friend

Granddaughter Lorelei is visiting for the weekend, and I think it's hilarious that she's named her reflection in the mirror "Bob". She knows that it's her, but she treats Bob like a friend.

She also saw the Mummy in my room, so we taught her to walk around with her arms held out going "Mmmmmm. Mmmmmmm."

If You Missed It, Bad On You

More than any other sport, the National Hockey League's All-Star Weekend is a celebration of fun. The NHL changes up the format of the game often; sometimes it's East vs. West, or North America vs. the World, etc. This year, after the fans picked the All-Stars, two teams were selected to be captains and a good ol' fashioned sandlot-style draft was held to choose up sides. The draft itself was not bad, and today's game should be it's usual fast paced goalfest.

Or maybe not. During last night's Skills Competition, in the final event the goalies proved that they're there to show off a little bit too. Most years, the focus is on the shooters, but last night the goalies did a great job of stopping shots.

And the rest of the show last night was big fun. As a change during the fastest skater event, goalies were included. In full pads. Boston's defensiveman Chara set a new record with a shot clocked at 105.9 mph! Tampa Bay's St. Louis (pronounce it frenchy style: Sain' LooEEEE) proved once again that wiles and experience can overcome the handicap of being Richard Simmons' lookalike.

And even through it all, the real skills shined through. These guys are fast. They're big. They do things like juggle that frozen disk of rubber at the end of a six foot stick while skating on ice. They hit targets with shots and passes at long distance, short distance and at seemingly impossible angles.

And the entire time, each and every one of them was grinning like a kid at the circus.

Brush Mileage

I read somewhere that the only way to improve as a painter was to accumulate plenty of "brush mileage." In other words, the more practice, the better you get. With that in mind, I've done several new works this month. Check 'em out over at Quiet Tales, my other site.

Tedfoolery

Good Times / Bad Times

We just got back from a week in Florida. A leisurely drive down and back, a few days in Ocala with the in-laws and a couple of days at Daytona Beach, staring at the waves and recharging. Only had internet access once, for about a half an hour the entire week, and it was nice.

On the down side, a co-worker unexpectedly died while I was away (that's what I found out during that half hour of access), as did a favorite Aunt from my Dad's side of the family.

Good thing I'm not superstitious, or I might never go on vacation again.

Wet, Strong Probability of Ugly

Our snowstorm has fizzled into some wet flurries. Just enough to make everything glisten with moisture and the air to look foggy. Tonight it's supposed to get down into the 20's.

Joy.

Toasty

Today's project for my daughter and I was to construct a camping quilt from a kit I bought. The idea being that since the insulation keeps you warm by trapping warm air in the "loft" of the layers, then the part of a sleeping bag that you lay on isn't doing you any good, warmth-wise. Hence, the quilt.

The kit was supposed to take about 8 hours of work to finish. Cutting, pinning, sewing, more cutting, more pinning, more sewing, and so on. Luckily for me, Mookie has an industrial sewing machine (can you say 12 layers of denim?!?!?!) and tons of experience, so we actually finished in about five hours. It was definitely a two-person job.

It's rated for 40 degrees, and I'll definitely be testing that when it warms up a little bit. It weighs in at less than two pounds, which is music to my backpackin' ears.

I'm really looking forward to camping this year.

Government In Action

I work in DC. Yesterday, while heading to lunch we walked near a park notable for the number of homeless people who hang out there. My friend pointed out some new signs attached to the trash cans in the park:

"Keep Our Streets Golden"

Brilliant. I can hear the conversation now:

"Honest Officer, I thought I was just obeying the new civil ordinance!"

Come On And Die Already!

The more *ahem* serious gun buffs are hesitant to call the new Kel-Tec KSG Bullpup Shotgun what it is, which is "The World's Most Perfect Zombie Killing Weapon".

If you'll notice, besides the space saving bullpup design, there are two magazine tubes sitting side by side under the 18.5" long barrel. There's a selector lever that you use to set to feed from either magazine. Can you say "seven rounds of double ought *and* seven more of slugs?" I knew you could. That's fifteen rounds (one in the chamber) of sweet zombie brain perforating power right there.

My only reservation is that this puppy is 12 guage. I like 12 guage, but if I'm going to be shooting enough to warrant this kind of weapon, I'd rather see it in something a tad more benign to the shoulder like 20 gauge or even .410. That would probably also add a couple more rounds to the magazine capacity too.

Let's Review

If you own an SUV, then you don't need to come to a complete stop before easing over a small speedbump. Check with lost and found, maybe they've seen your balls.

We're All Full Up Here

DC that is. My latest encounter with a "special" person is a middle aged woman who walks down the middle of the street where my parking garage is in the city. Up and down the street, all day as far as I can tell. Meandering from curb to curb, hauling a huge duffle bag and a slightly less huge handbag. Well dressed too. Horns don't faze her, neither do angry shouts and gestures (I haven't and probably wouldn't given the circumstances).

I don't know where she's at in her mind, but she's the fucking Queen there.

Help Wanted

I'm two people short of a threesome.

Ho

Update

Yule, Yadda Yadda - 3

At least they're already right next to the fire.


For the girl who has everything (else)...


The Easter Bunny's Family Christmas Card.


We all know someone like this.


The End.

A Week of Yuletide Irreverence - 2

Or maybe it's "irrelevance." Or C, all of the above.

Ho.


Humiliating your kids is the best part of parenting. Solving a problem is just a bonus.


There's a message here, but I'm not sure if it matters that I understand it.


It's a rainhat, right?


For the professional offense-takers in the world...

A Week of Yuletide Irreverence - 1

Or maybe it's "irrelevance." Or C, all of the above.

I'm not a tattoo kinda guy, but if I were...

Frustrating

I can't look at my Amazon Wish List this time of year because I may figure out what I'm getting from the family. That's no fun.

Wisdom

I'm surprised more folks don't keep hogs for pets. Hogs are just dogs wrapped in bacon. -- Spokes (fellow member of a backpacking forum)

What Kind of God Would Allow This to Happen?

Otamatone. A new and horrifying musical instrument from Japan. The post title comes from one of the YouTube comments.

Via Ace.

Oh, about fifty bucks.

Miscellanea

Ah, troubled youth.


I met her on 4chan, but alas, it was not meant to be.


Now you know.




I don't have an iPhone, so this amuses me. In fact, my cell phone is almost 4 years old and I won't upgrade because it does almost everything I want, i.e. makes and receives calls and holds a battery charge. The only option I could do without is the one where it takes multiple pictures of the inside of my pocket. I have dozens of those. I should post my favorites here, you'd like that, eh?


Kinda sums this all up, don't it?