Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Outrage Enough For The Both Of Us

You heard about that US Airways flight that ditched in the Hudson river. The one that flew through a flock of geese and lost both engines and managed to emergency land without a single person dying.

If you did, then the following will probably piss you off. If you didn't, then don't worry, because I've got you covered.

Some of the passengers are thinking about filing lawsuits, and have lawyered up.

Kreindler & Kreindler, a New York law firm that has represented plaintiffs in crashes, says it has been contacted by several passengers on the US Airways flight.

The firm's lawyers are determining what injuries and emotional distress passengers may have suffered, and what parties might be liable under New York state law, says Noah Kushlefsky, a partner in the firm.

Rachel Lucas points out the obvious, that the GEESE are responsible.

So, here are my suggestions to those ungrateful assholes unhappy passengers.

1. Sue every church in the world: "Act of God" and all that. Don't forget the Muslims either, 'cuz I hear Allah is all that.

2. Sue GreenPeace, the Sierra Club, PETA and every other animal rights organization out there. If it weren't for them, those pesky flying speedbumps would've been extinct by now.

3. Sue New York City. Their anti-gun laws obviously limited airline's ability to create a hazard-free zone for miles surrounding the airport. I'd love to get a job hunting for safety.

Really, the main thing this whole situation demonstrates is that not enough lawyers get sucked into jet engines.


mapgirl said...

Silly. Clearly a case of 'contributory negligence' after all, buying a ticket and passing through TSA is a willful participatory act.

Suing waterfowl. What a concept!

deadites said...

OMG, just take those people and toss them off a building. I mean there's milking a buck and then there's pushing it. That Joe Hart guy needs a reality kick up the butt.