Ah, troubled youth.
I met her on 4chan, but alas, it was not meant to be.
Now you know.
I don't have an iPhone, so this amuses me. In fact, my cell phone is almost 4 years old and I won't upgrade because it does almost everything I want, i.e. makes and receives calls and holds a battery charge. The only option I could do without is the one where it takes multiple pictures of the inside of my pocket. I have dozens of those. I should post my favorites here, you'd like that, eh?
Kinda sums this all up, don't it?