Someone needs a glass bellybutton

Because they obviously have their head up their ass, and they didn't see this coming!

The complete story is here, but the gist of it is:

"A Bethesda Dentist convicted of raping a 15-year-old patient failed to show up in court for his sentencing hearing Thursday."

Excuse me, this sonuvabitch has already been convicted? Why isn't he already in custody?

"A judge has now issued a bench warrant for David Fuster's arrest."

Good idea. A little late, but a good idea. Oh but wait, it gets better!

"Fuster has not been seen since he was convicted May 7th."

WTF?!?!?!?!

"Fuster who had been free on bond, disappeared along with his family the day after his conviction. Authorities say his kids didn't show up for school, which led police to Fuster's Damascus home, which they found nearly empty."

Which might have been the first clue that he decided to skedaddle? Great detective work there. It doesn't say when police finally went to his house, and I don't know which would be worse; on or about May 8th - two months ago - or sometime later - meaning they didn't bother to look for him even after his kids quit showing up for school.

"Fuster also failed to show up for a May 28th hearing ..."

This is the second time he hasn't shown up!!! Oh, maybe the court thought the original date wasn't convenient, so they tried another, later date. How could that happen?

"... his lawyers requested to ask for a new trial."

Never mind.

"faces 55-years behind bars, as well as a trial on other charges involving several more patients."

I hear that prisoners don't take kindly to scum that rape juveniles. I hope I heard right.

"Prosecutors are optimistic about bringing Fuster to justice."

TRANSLATION: (Goofy laugh) weeeellllll, we fucked up don'cha know. Who'da thunk that a convicted man facing more related charges might run away? Nope. Never even thunk'd that.

I could probably write quite a bit more about this, but it would mostly be cursing and unintelligible "ARRRR!" and stuff.